Remember when you would visit me all the time? Now I need to take a special moment to reach out and say thank you. I love you.
I want to thank you for checking to make sure that my relationship was in good standing—to check in over this past year to make sure that we were safe, that we were good parents together, that there was nothing wrong with us. I remember that day well, the first day when you suggested that there could be something wrong.
I felt so heartbroken. I felt so devastated. I felt so confused. I took your suggestions very seriously and I mistakenly believed them to be true. Over, and over, and over. But I know better now. I know now that you were just trying to help, so I forgive you. I know that you meant well.
And I have to tell you…. My partner and I are getting married next year! I am excited, and honored, and so thankful that you were there to help and aid in the process. In that sense, you were a godsend. Your nitpicking has made me sure that I am okay, that we are okay. You have checked and rechecked, suggested things that I would never have thought of. For this, I thank you.
And now for my daughter,
Don’t even get me started on my daughter. I am only barely going to scratch the surface when I try and put into words the half of what you have done for us, because I could not begin to describe what you have done and for her and for me.
Ohmygosh, you were incredible. You thought of everything that could possibly potentially cause harm to her or harm to me. And I mean, everything! The things I could do or not do, the things that could happen to us, the things I never could have thought up in my wildest imaginings…. Anxiety, you did. You covered all the bases. You made it possible for me to exhaust every possible bad thing that could happen. So thank you. Never in my life could I have expected you to do such a great job like this, never. You bring tears to my eyes even now because you made sure that we were safe. You are everything I could have hoped for in a bodyguard.
I want to thank you here and now for being so kind and generous and persistent and thoughtful with your ideas. But now I know that I can, and have, taken my power back. In fact, I graciously stepped into it long ago, but I forgot to tell you. In fact, I never left it, it was with me all along, because I am it and it is me. I am made of that power. It has never, and will never, go anywhere, but, you seemed intriguing and you seemed important and I felt as though I should listen to you. And for that, I apologize. I didn’t mean to make you work harder by innocently drawing you in and I didn’t mean to make you feel that you had to come back. I didn’t mean to make such a big deal out of your suggestions. But I was so innocent, please forgive me.
However, I wouldn’t be where I am today without you. I wouldn’t have gained the courage, built the strength, cultivated the hopes, rode on the faiths, created the connections, looked inside myself, and realized that I am safe without you. None of this would have been possible without you. I wouldn’t be where I am today, full of peace, full of love, full of hopes, full of dreams, full of strength, full of courage, if it wasn’t for you. Thank god for you.
And you know what, dear Anxiety? I appreciate you. I appreciate that you bent and twisted and tested my limits like that. I appreciate your having me take a look at myself, and I appreciate your helping me grow and evolve.
But I am okay. I am more than okay; I am full of love and I am ready to let you go. I am safe without you. I have all the love I ever—and have ever—needed right here inside me.
I am safe. I am loved. I am secure.
I am love.
Thank you, I love you.
So please dear Warrior, forgive yourself for you are simply being human.